CMT Music Awards Review – Still Blows

So I finally held my nose and watched my recording of the suck fest that is the Country Music Television Awards show (you can tell right there how objective this is going to be) and it as predictable and unpleasant as July heat in Dallas.

A Dixie Chicks and Stonewall Jackson slam already. Nice Foxworthy. You’re an ass.

There was a new category, the Wide open Country Video of the Year. It seems like it was a stab at irreverence. But with Jimmy Buffet and Sheryl Crow and Sting as nominees it was more like “Let’s see what we can get by with.” The Johnny Cash video for “God Going To Cut You Down.” Jack Ingram won. Not a great start for the new category.

Everyone that won robotically thanks CMT in their speeches. I mean what are the odds that every winning artist felt truly compelled to thank a network? Tools…

There was a moment of true grace and emotion on the program, but it had nothing to do with the three-ring pyrotechnic circus of bland performances by Toby Keith and Rascal Flatts. It was when Rosanne Cash presented Kris Kristofferson the Johnny Cash Visionary Award. Kritofferson was visibly moved, gracious and his amazing life and legacy was briefly detailed before he accepted. It was a brief moment of sincerity in an otherwise facile showcase of mediocrity.

Rascal Flatts stacks the deck on the Group Video of the Year with two nominations and beats out the crowd favorite The Dixie Chicks. Just joshin.

Foxwothy is giving the last 25% of morons that don’t see Iraq as a fiasco and people who worship a sky god a sloppy one. He’s like the reverse Natalie Maines with less talent.

There, that’s all I can stand. Another year, a lot of make-up and $200 denim and precious little country music.

Oh and Kenny Chesney is a girl.